


Shut Up, Man

by orphan_account



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: College, Dry Humping, M/M, college-days-esque but they are at rhett's home in this cause i like those vibes better, jackin' off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:11:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based on a prompt, “I know they’re just stuffed animals but doesn’t it feel weird? It's like they’re watching us.”Where Link has a sneaking suspicion that Rhett's Shamu is spying on them. So they give it something to see.





	Shut Up, Man

**Author's Note:**

> fuck seaworld

Rhett had done his best to clean up his room and make his bed. Link was well-fed and entertained, but had naturally found _something_ to complain about. Just when Rhett thought he would have a chill day with Link, alone in the house.They were sitting on the carpet, Rhett leaning against the bed and Link leaning against the closet opposite when he raised his hand to point to the teddy bear and stuffed whale toy on Rhett’s bed.

Link, referring to the two plushies asked: “I know they’re just stuffed animals but doesn’t it feel weird? It’s like they’re watching us.”

“You afraid of them seein’ something?” Rhett asked, hoping his tone conveyed the fact that it was inherently more ridiculous to assign anthropomorphic characteristics to stuffed animals than it was to still own them at eighteen years of age.

Link wrinkled his nose. “Seein’ whut?”

Rhett shook his head, “Exactly. Ya ain’t that interesting.”

Link rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who just wanted to sit around here. I told ya we should have gone to the creek.”

“We got the house to ourselves, bo!”

“To do what? We’re not havin’ any fun, and now your freakin’ Shamu is starin’ me down!”

Rhett chuckled, letting the joke fall out of his mouth before he really thought it through, “Can’t do anything to make Shamu jealous...“ he didn’t get to finish that because of the dread that overtook him when he saw Link’s face change.

Link paused, and then Rhett saw him make the longest face he’d ever seen on a person. Eyebrows up, eyes wide, mouth agape. The long face didn’t seem sad, just mocking.

“Oh my goodness...” Link breathed, looking slowly between Rhett and the stuffed toy. He took a moment to close his gaping mouth and clear his throat before letting out a giggle, “That’s the-“

“Man, shut up,” Rhett said huffily, averting his gaze and rubbing a thumb on the hardwood floor. His mind raced back to the night at Cape Fear when he’d gotten a little too drunk on strawberry wine (and Link’s company) and ended up spilling more than a few personal secrets. He’d almost forgotten about that. Almost forgotten about how Link said he’d like to try out Shamu, too.

Link kept his eyes fixed on Rhett’s as he got up, crossing the room in two strides and reaching over the bed to grab the stuffed toy. It hadn’t been washed since Rhett’s last session with it, which had happened earlier in the day. (He’d had the house to himself, c’mon.) Rhett cringed, weakly warning Link in the last second, “Y’sure you wanna touch that?”

Link picked the thing up easily, holding it close to his hip. He shook his head as if to show Rhett that he was ignoring him. “So you just... hump it?” Link asked, putting one leg up on the bed, folded at the knee. He pushed the toy gently between his thighs and lowered his weight on it before rutting against it. “Like this?” he smiled, and Rhett felt embarrassment course through him.

“Stop it, man,” Rhett said, grabbing onto the bed so that he could pull himself up. Once he was up and towering over Link, he grabbed and tried to pull the Shamu out from between Link’s legs. “Wuss wrong with you?”

Link just plod on, holding the plushie tight between his legs so that when Rhett pulled it forward, it only moved against Link’s crotch. To Link’s gasp, Rhett let go off the plushie as of it had burnt him.

“I want you to show me,” Link said, voice low. His hips stuttered forward just a little bit, making Rhett’s mouth dry out.

Rhett tried to scrunch his face up, trying his best for disgust, and shook his head a little. They _couldn’t._ He could feel his heart beating quickly, could hear the thrum of it in his ears which suddenly felt very warm.

Link bit his lip. “If we include Shamu, then he won’t be jealous,” he said softly, no malice or teasing where Rhett expected to find plenty.

Rhett moved forward a little, considering Link before leaning down, palming Link’s cheek. Link leaned into the touch, parting his lips and looking up at Rhett through those pretty eyelashes like he was fit to put Shamu out of work.

“G’on already,” Link said impatiently, and Rhett crashed their lips together in a searing kiss. Link had _no idea._ No idea how much Rhett had wanted it, how much time he’d spent fantasising about Link ever since Link grew up to be the most handsome guy in town, and wider.

Link grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in so hard that Rhett fell forward, effectively knocking Link down. Link’s head hung off the side of the mattress but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, still pushing up into the kiss, not letting Rhett break it. Rhett’s crotch came in contact with the pillowy whale, rubbing against it as he moved with Link. He was already hard. He couldn’t even begin to fool himself into thinking that it was any Shamu-related conditioning. It was all Link.

“Screw Shamu,” Link whispered once the kiss had to be broken if they didn’t want to suffocate. He dove right back in, so much that Rhett had to laugh and keep him at arm’s length to respond.

“S what we’re tryna do, bo,” Rhett said with a smile, pressing his lips to Link’s neck when Link dropped his head back in frustration.

The blush that led up Link’s neck to his cheeks was too beautiful for Rhett not to kiss it.

“Gedoff,” Link muttered, making Rhett turn cold and back away so that Link could sit up. Link’s blush was all the more fierce, and he chuckled in a way that made Rhett instantly relieved. “I gotta move, still sittin’ on the dang Shamu,” Link said by way of explaining, “and I think you should lock the door.”

Rhett nodded and jumped off the bed. Once the key in the lock had been turned, Rhett turned around to command, “Take your pants off.”

Link quickly undid his jeans and lied back down, lifting his hips up to shimmy out of them. Rhett undid his own jeans at the same time and took them off as he walked, discarding them in the middle of the room before moving to kneel on the bed next to Link. The urgency with which they moved made Rhett’s insides feel weightless. It felt like they were doing something forbidden, trying to make most of their time and finally not wasting a second. 

Link sat back up on his knees, leaning up for another kiss. Even though they had just kissed, it must have felt new to Link, and Rhett could tell that he was shy and waited for Rhett to take the lead. Rhett leaned in to kiss him, hoping that the way he tried to convey his love for Link through the kiss was working.

“You kiss real good,” Link muttered.

“You look real good,” Rhett retorted, grinning at him as they crowded around Shamu. Link ducked his head down, hair brushing Rhett’s shoulder. Rhett just wanted to hold him forever, but he also wanted them to get off.  
The toy was not too big, but sizeable enough - maybe a foot and a half, two. Enough for them to place their skinny hips at each end of the plushie. They ended up being quite close in the middle, their spread legs touching at the knees on the side.

Link was sitting patiently, and so, so prettily. Rhett reached out and placed one hand on Link's thigh to steady himself, and Link did the same to him on the opposite side.

“Gosh, you make me so horny,” Link said, laughing a little self-deprecatingly, leaving Rhett speechless. He couldn’t believe Link was saying that about him, that Link was so hot, that he made someone as hot as Link feel that way. And Link was right to call them out — it took only one touch for the dam to break, and in a matter of minutes they had progressed from kissing to getting off in front of each other, but Rhett hadn’t considered it a huge departure from what he dreamed would happen to them. Truthfully, in that moment he hadn’t considered shit. He was busy counting his blessings. He kissed Link again.

Rhett’s laboured breathing made him think he was going to pass out just from how good Link was, before they even did anything. So he threw himself headfirst into teaching, before his brain short-circuited.

“So...” he said softly, ready to aid Link’s excited state, pulling him in a little with the hand on his thigh, “Just do like this-“ he thrust forward, shaking the toy and Link in the process. “Oh, sorry-“

Link interrupted him with a short kiss. “Like this?” He asked, dragging his crotch slowly and deliberately against the plushie. His other hand came up to grab at Rhett’s shoulder, and Rhett leaned in, hand going to Link’s waist to keep him close as he shuddered.

Rhett gulped. “Don’t be afraid to lift your hips,” he demonstrated, “and then go down, y’know-“

Link followed the instructions perfectly and came down with a soft moan which made Rhett moan in turn. 

“Perfect,” Rhett said softly, holding onto Link as he moved again. They both began to move at the same time, slowly at first. Their chests came into contact when they both moved forward at the same time, which made them both laugh. It also made them realise that they need to be shirtless.

Link was the first one to tug his shirt up and over his head, and when he threw it over to the side, Rhett couldn’t take his eyes off him. This made Link smile and reach over to tug at Rhett’s own shirt, “Off.” 

Rhett nodded and let Link help him get out of the shirt, which was soon thrown away just like Link’s before it. Rhett immediately dove forward to kiss Link, and they held each others hands for support as they began to rut against the plushie with more force. 

“Oh, God,” Link moaned, pressing his forehead to Rhett’s shoulder as they continued to rock together. Rhett couldn’t contain the grunts and moans that ripped through him. He thanked God for the fact that they were home alone. 

When Link leaned back, head lolling to the side as he whimpered, Rhett released one of his hands from his grip and moved it down to Link’s navel.

“Link,” he asked breathlessly, “Can I-”

Link nodded vehemently, bringing his own hand to where Rhett’s boner tented his boxers. They both let out a sigh of pleasure in unison. 

They rocked forward into each other’s hands over the plushie which was almost forgotten. Link’s hand felt infinitely nicer than anything Rhett had ever humped — and Link’s own hot and heavy cock felt heavenly in his hand, even through the boxers. Rhett squeezed Link’s dick through the fabric and felt his own dick being squeezed in turn, over and over, drawing low moans out of both of them. Link paused to pull Rhett’s boxers down, tugging the waistband forward until Rhett’s proud cock jutted out against his belly.

“Gosh, that’s hot,” Link muttered, and Rhett almost came there and then. Link left the waistband of the boxers under his balls, where it pulled them up under his dick, making him whimper. 

“You think so?” Rhett asked weakly, shivering as Link ran the tips of his fingers up and down his length.

Link nodded, finally wrapping his fingers around Rhett’s weeping dick. Rhett rushed to take Link’s own cock out, tugging on it as soon as he took it out. He held his hand underneath it for a bit, admiring the way it fit in his palm. 

“Rhett—” Link pleaded, and Rhett immediately got to work, welcoming Link’s thrusts with a twist of his hand. 

They met with a kiss in the middle, jerking each other off desperately. Even with only the little moisture they had from their precome, it felt too good. It wasn’t long after their thrusts got quick and frantic that Rhett knew he was going to come. He thought about them moving so that they don’t spray Shamu or the covers of the bed, but found himself unable to think about it for long as he looked down at Link’s beautiful, big hand working at his cock.

He was the first one to tense up, squeezing his eyes shut as the sensations became a little too much. He was leaning onto Link for support as Link made him spill his seed, all over both Link and the poor plushie. Link squeezed Rhett’s hand in his as he came all over him, moaning his name and babbling about how good it felt. Rhett could have died there and then.

Link might have felt the same because he dropped onto Rhett, completely limp, and they collapsed to lie town on the bed together. Rhett had a little bit of strength left in him and he used that to scoop Link’s face into his hands and kiss him, open mouthed and hungry. Even after all that they had done, he was still hungry for Link. He suspected he’d always be. 

Link had to pry him off with a giggle after a while, and Rhett didn’t mind, because the way Link laid his pretty head onto Rhett’s chest made him melt into the mattress. Which made Rhett think of something. 

“Didn’t ya say you fuck a hole in your mattress to get off?”

Link squirmed on top of him. “Yeah...” Silence for a few moments, which compelled Link to go on. “Feels like a real... hole. Maybe I can show you what that feels like sometime.”

That filled Rhett’s head with all sorts of thoughts. He hummed his affirmation into Link’s hair and then pressed a kiss there.

Link murmured discontentedly.

“What?” Rhett asked quickly.

“I still feel like your teddy bear’s watchin’ us,” Link mumbled.

There was a pause.

“We’re not fuckin’ Mr Snuggles,” Rhett announced, and Link burst into a fit of giggles that made Rhett fall in love with him all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, <3 as always lmk down below what you think, find me on tumblr @bloodbros


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